just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
