Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
