just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
