She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
