trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
