My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
