that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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