The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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