Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
