every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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