This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
