I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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