My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
