i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When are your genitals available?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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