the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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