you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
