Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
