Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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