I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
