i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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