My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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