mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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