census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
