Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
