apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
