I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You pole danced in your parka.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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