did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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