Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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