Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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