If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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