why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
