My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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