She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
