I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
