If that was your dad, he is hot
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
