Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
