I bet he comes in French.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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