Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
