i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
