i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
