My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
