the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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