I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
