Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
