I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
