Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
