wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
