My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
