Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
