all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
