sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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