Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
